Thursday, March 10, 2011

Just a little nervous

Ok, ok so I am sure your wondering if I'm nervous? Well, yes just a little. I'm sure tomorrow morning when I'm sitting on the table, with a thin, butt barring smock, I will feel the need to pee. That's what happens to me when I get nervous. Even though I just peed and I KNOW I do not need to, it hits me. I have to pee! Happens every single time.
I'm a little scared too, since I'm telling all. I mean what if he goes in and there is no scar tissue (which would be a miracle) or what if there is, he removes it and I still don't get pregnant? What if he finds another tumor? What if my tubes ARE blocked? What if I am in terrible pain Saturday? I hate the "what ifs"!!!! They like to haunt me a lot. And I'm one of those people that wants to know the answer. I don't want a "were not sure" or "maybe". What if this never happens? What if I'm not ever going to have children? Scary stuff!! I try not to think about it and try to think happy and positive thoughts. Maybe this will work and I will be pregnant next month! That would be amazing!! Totally and completely amazing!! Hopefully on Monday morning when I post again I will be telling you that everything went great and things look positive. Please pray with me that everything goes well! 
OOOOOHHHHH!!! I forgot to mention, I THINK  I am about to start! For real! Of course I had to text my Dr's wife immediately and ask if I did start could we still do the surgery. Thank goodness she said yes. I think I may have just not told them if she were to tell me no. (well really not, but I would have thought good and hard about it) But that's my life. That's how things go. All the time. I don't start, don't start, take a pregnancy test, I then start THAT day! And not just in my little hopeful pregnancy world, all parts of it!

1 comment:

Brynn said...

thinking and praying for you today! the "what ifs" are the work of Satan....try not to get lost in them, as hard as that is. you are in God's hands! can't wait for an update. good luck!