I have been thinking about things lately and wondering how things will go. If you know me at all you know I do not do good with change and I am afraid of the unknown. I have heard many horror stories about breast feeding, hospital stays, epidurals, the first week home, jaundice. I also think that things go worse when you expect one thing and something else happens. I want to be prepared for what might happen and not be naive to think that everything will go amazingly well. I know a lot about babies even though I have never been a mom, I am an aunt, I have been a nanny and have babysat tons of kiddos. Now I know babysitting and being a mom two totally different things but I also know that I am not going into this process completely dumb. Now that's about babies, but that has nothing to do with delivery.
One thing that scares me is I'm afraid I'm going to freak out on the operating table. I am very glad that Cory will be in there with me, but I can imagine myself laying there thinking about the fact that as I lay there awake they are cutting my body open. Or that I will freak about the fact that I can't get up bc I am numb and if I do my guts will hang out. Now I am not claustrophobic but I did have to calm myself down when I got my MRI done. I can completely understand why people freak out in that little tube!
I know nothing about breast feeding at all! I like the thought of it and I hope I do it, but I'm not so sure it will happen. I am dreading the sore, cracked, dry, etc part. I have been praying that breast feeding will go smoothly and that I won't have any problems. I need to find a book to read about it.
I have heard so many horror stories about the first week home, it's not even funny. Baby cried the WHOLE night, she won't eat, has her nights and days mixed up, we had to take her back to the hospital, we didn't get to take her home, on and on. I pray everyday that the first week goes wonderful! And that Morgan is a good baby.
I just don't want to have this perfect dream in my head and then everything goes terrible. I want to remind myself that it's not going to go perfect and it will probably be far from dreamy.
We go to the Dr. next week and I will be 26 weeks. Crazy to think that I am this far already and Morgan will be here before we know it!
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Like my brother always says, expect the worst and you'll always be pleasantly surprised! :) No but really, relax! Most of those fears will fade once she is here because you will have sooo much on your mind that you may forget about some of them.Then after a week or so you may say, "Hey I forgot I was even scared about that". Happened to me! You are completely normal and you will be fine!! Enjoy your last few months of alone time and don't stress...its not good for Morgan! Miss you!
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