I've Got Baby Fever

AGAIN! I know, I know M is only 2, well not quite 2, but almost. I wondered how I would feel after having Morgan, if I would want more. Before Morgan I most definitely wanted more. In fact I wanted three. But, I had heard of other people who felt that way and then got the first baby and changed their mind. The first few weeks of Morgan's life I did not want more. I was chained to a couch, with bleeding _______, and wondered if life would ever feel normal again. Don't get me wrong, I loved her, but it was pretty tough in the beginning. I wasn't quite sure how I would do it with two. But now that M is almost 2, I want more. I have always wanted more then one. I do not want her to be an only child. I was basically an only child and I did not like it. I want to her to have a playmate. I want to know that if, God forbid, Cory and I both died at the same time, she would have someone. Someone who understands and can help her and someone she can help and know she is not alone. I want to experience that special bond between siblings and M's love for her baby brother or sister. I want my pregnant belly back, to feel those precious kicks again, and those hiccups all the time. I want that newborn baby smell and look, cooing, baby sounds that some how mysteriously left my daughter, and I didn't even know it. I want that firm grip from that tiny little hand, and the one on one time and bond that you can only get from nursing. I want to see my husbands eyes when he holds that baby for the first time, again. I want bottles and pacifiers. I want to experience all those firsts again. I love my daughter more than anything or anyone in this world. But, I do feel we need one more. (or maybe 2) I am praying that if this is not God's will for my life, He will take this feeling away. And if it is God's will for our life, that he will soften my husbands heart.