Patience is not in my list of characteristics. So you understand how hard the whole waiting to get pregnant thing is for me. I have good days and bad days. Some days I'm ok, I know I will get pregnant at some point, and it will happen when it happens. But then there are the days when the Patience is just not there. The days when I want it right now. The days when I remember that I have been waiting five years for this, then when it's time to try I can't get pregnant and find out I have a ginormous tumor instead. Then I go back and forth in my head with "it will happen, God loves you and knows the desires of your heart". But then I get scared and think about all the people who want a baby just as bad as I do and God hasn't allowed them to have a baby. And then I start to think to myself "what if that's me?" Who am I to think that I am so special that God is going to grant my desire?
I pray daily that God does grant my desire, but until then I will wait patiently on Him................or try to at least.
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